Rooted in Real

A recovering social media addict

A recovering social media addict

  • When Anxiety Wins…

    Recovery Series: Finding Connection on the Hard Days

    I love to listen to people tell their stories. Whether it’s through an audiobook or over a one-on-one conversation, I find deep beauty in hearing someone share their truth.

    A few years ago, I picked up a book called “Year of Yes” by Shonda Rhimes. In it, Shonda talks about saying yes to every opportunity for an entire year.

    Friend, I’ve said yes when I wanted to say no. And I’ve said no when I desperately wanted to say yes. But there is nothing quite like the no that comes as a result of anxiety.

    When Anxiety Interrupts Connection

    Anxiety is the arch nemesis of connection. It creeps in quietly sometimes, right on cue, and other times it storms in out of nowhere. It can show up on perfectly good days when everything feels fine, maybe even better than fine, and suddenly there you are saying no to connection when deep down you never wanted it to be a no.

    Anxiety just got the better of you.

    Over the years, I’ve learned a few tricks to keep it quiet. But this week, it got the better of me again. It came rushing in full speed ahead, and I was unprepared. Nothing bad happened. No trigger, no warning. It just showed up, uninvited and unannounced.

    And all the things that usually help? They didn’t work this time. In fact, some even seemed to make it worse.

    The Question That Follows

    So today’s question is this: How do you find connection even when anxiety says no?

    Is it even possible? And if so, how can you do it well?

    Choosing Connection Anyway

    Let me say this first, I’m no expert. This is just my experience.

    It’s true. This week anxiety found me, and it took me for a good ride. And yet, I found myself pulling out a pen and paper to write a letter.

    Yes, on the day anxiety was at its worst, I wrote to my new pen pal.

    I didn’t write about my anxiety. Instead, I wrote about who I am, the things I enjoy, and what I’d like to know about her. Writing gave me a small window of calm, a chance to breathe and to connect.

    While anxiety kept me home that day, it did not get to define me. It did not get to rob me of every possible connection I could make.

    So I set out with intention to connect, even on what I’d call my hardest anxiety day in a long time. I gave my attention to something and someone that mattered to me.

    And in doing so, I refused to believe the lie that I’ll never have real connection because I can’t commit to a “year of yes.”

    Because that, my friend, is called comparison, and comparison is the thief of joy.

    And I like my joy around here, even on the hard days.

    This Week’s Reflection

    If you struggle with anxiety and connection, take a few moments to reflect on these questions:

    • What does anxiety keep me from saying yes to?
    • What small, simple step could I take toward connection on my next hard day?
    • How can I give myself grace when I can’t show up the way I want to?

    Write down your answers. Sit with them. Let them remind you that even on the hard days, you can still choose connection in your own quiet, courageous way.

    When Anxiety Wins…

    When Anxiety Wins…

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  • Recovery: The Grief Stage

    As I sit and look at the steps I’ve taken to remove myself from social media and into “recovery,” I find myself feeling grief.

    Grief.

    Whew, that’s a big word. It holds so much weight and so much emotion.

    I’m not unfamiliar with grief. In fact, I’d tell you I’m well acquainted with it. And yet, I was still surprised when grief showed up in the process of letting go of social media and embracing true connection.

    Understanding This Kind of Grief

    Now let me stop right here and say, the grief I’m talking about isn’t me beating myself up and calling it grief. No, this is self-reflection. It’s the kind that calls out the sadness of lost time for what it is, and then chooses not to let that be the story moving forward.

    As I sit curled up in my car thinking about all the time I spent on social media, time I could have been present in a moment right in front of me or connecting with someone who needed me (or maybe even someone I needed), I simply feel grief.

    Grief for time lost.

    Grief for connection missed.

    Grief for moments I’ll never get to redo or be right in the middle of again.

    The Wake-Up Moment

    You see, the addiction I personally had to social media had gotten so bad those last few weeks that I found myself checking on my favorite content creator multiple times a day just to see if she was okay because she was going through something.

    Here’s the problem.

    Someone I actually know, someone I see regularly, may have been going through something too, and I could have been there for them.

    But now, I’ll never know.

    That realization broke something open in me.

    What Comes After the Grief?

    So now that you’ve examined the grief, maybe had a good cry, and even gotten a little mad, what comes next?

    Two things, my friend.

    1. Forgiveness

    Yes, you heard me right: forgiveness.

    You have to choose, right here and now, to forgive yourself.

    Forgive yourself for being so consumed with social media that it cost you something so precious, time. Time you’ll never get back.

    Forgive yourself for allowing it to get as far as it did. You didn’t know what you didn’t know. And now that you do, you get to make a new choice.

    2. A Simple Plan

    Once you’ve done that, when you’re ready, I want you to grab a pen and paper.

    Begin to write out how you want to do things differently from here on out. Get honest with yourself, and be practical. This doesn’t need to be some elaborate, unrealistic plan. No rigid to-do list that sets you up to fail. Just simple, intentional change.

    Mine looks like three bullet points and a few sentences about what I’d like to see done differently.

    Then take this week to start living it out. Don’t rush it. Don’t pressure yourself to get it perfect. Just take one step at a time.

    This Is a Journey

    Recovery from social media isn’t a one-day accomplishment. It’s a process, a slow, honest, beautiful reclaiming of your time, attention, and peace.

    It will take something that the online world rarely asks of us.

    Time.

    This Week’s Reflection

    As you think about your own journey, ask yourself:

    • What moments have I grieved because I was distracted or disconnected?
    • What does forgiveness look like for me in this area?
    • What three simple, realistic steps can I take this week to start living more present?

    Write them down.

    Pray over them.

    And remember, this is a journey, not a race. Grace will meet you in every step forward.

    Recovery: The Grief Stage

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  • Is It Connection or Just Status?

    The Tug to Step Away

    Recently, I felt a tug in my heart to step back from social media and start truly connecting with the people right in front of me. At first, it wasn’t easy. The first few days felt like withdrawal. I caught myself checking my phone every five minutes, swiping through screens, setting it down, and then almost on autopilot picking it right back up again.

    The Shift

    But then something shifted.

    By day five, my phone actually rang. Yes, rang. Not with notifications or likes, but with actual phone calls. People called to share their day, ask for advice, check in, or simply say, “I’m not sure why, but I just wanted to hear your voice.”

    My text messages began to look different too. Instead of quick one-liners or marketing blasts from my favorite stores, I started receiving long, heartfelt updates about life, invitations to get-togethers, and even requests for mom advice.

    Real Conversations Again

    And the best part? I started having more face-to-face conversations. Conversations that went deeper than small talk. Conversations that skipped past “I’m fine” and “the kids are good” into the real stuff, the hopes, struggles, and dreams that we so often keep tucked away. In this space, my friendships grew and new, meaningful connections began to form.

    The Myth of Social Media Connection

    Yet, when I shared about stepping away from social media, I often heard the same response:

    “I could never do that. That’s where all the connection is.”

    But here’s the truth. Before I stepped away, my phone hardly rang. My texts were shallow and transactional. And most of my conversations skimmed the surface, leaving me more drained than fulfilled.

    The Real Question

    So here’s the question I began asking myself, and maybe it’s one for you too:

    Who’s really connected?

    Is it the girl with a million followers and endless likes, or the one who decides to step off the conveyor belt of social media and lean into the relationships right in front of her?

    Followers are status.

    Likes are fleeting.

    But real conversations, deep friendships, and lasting bonds? That’s true connection.

    A Journey Worth Taking

    At the end of the day, I don’t want my legacy to be measured by views or follower counts. I want it to be marked by the people who knew they could call me, sit with me, laugh with me, cry with me, and know they were loved.

    Because that connection will outlast any Reel that goes viral.

    So now what? Where do we go from here? That’s what we will discover on this beautiful journey together. Join me as I find out what recovering from social media really means.

    A Gentle Challenge for You

    What would happen if you put your phone down just for a day and leaned into the people around you? Who might you call? Who might you invite over for coffee? What deeper conversation might be waiting for you beyond the screen?

    I dare you to find out.

    Is It Connection or Just Status?

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    2 responses to “Is It Connection or Just Status?”

    1. Mimi Supreme Avatar

      Love! Keep going!

      Like

    2. tiffany duggan Avatar
      tiffany duggan

      yes!!!! Love this! I’m not brave enough to try myself yet, but I NEED to!

      -tiff

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